Lost

I am farking lost again.. Is this the results of sleeping too much, dreaming too much, or something else? Sometimes things are either going to smooth or too rowdy that makes me want to give up. I am wandering in this world, thinking: "Where my life lies?" and "What am I looking for?" When things go smooth, at least i am still happy. However, when things get tough, i simply want to escape. Sleeping is a good way to escape. I can just ignore things around. Hoping to be ignorant which caused even more problems.

Hm, nobody is going to show me a way. I only can rely on myself i guess. Get on with things, doing them is the only way. I know it, but sometimes i just lack the courages, motivation to step out of my hideout. Once i read, the meaning of life is how meaningful you make your life. In this case, what is the meaningful? To be my love? To get a good job with good pay? I simply lost, and dunno what i am searching for. Looking for the enjoyment that i am searching. What do I enjoy most, I keep blaming for past relationship or events that make myself today. Simply hard to walk out of the shadow. Pitying myself and doing things that i don't intend to.

Should be grateful with the life i am having and keep on improve it. Dear, if you are reading this post, just ignore it. I dunno why I am talking also, messy in my head. Friends, if you are reading this also, I am having mood swing i guess. I really slept too much and stress about report and studies. Hopefully later will be better for me. Cheerios.