Low self esteem

Never been writing any meaningful post recently... only post a few songs.. really not feeling that good... life is a torture to me!!! i need to work harder..
was talking with an old fren yesterday.. and she says she finds that i got low self esteem.. being humble is good, but mine are just too much... extreme case... she's quite right.. i get emotional, mood swings a lot.. damn.. how unhealthy...
there's must be a change.. build up my social circle here in australia, exercise more, study more, play more...
how many a times have i talk about quit smoking? must have been too much.. think the first should be that.. the things that are scaring me is not that my lung is darkened by the nicotine, but rather then emotional swing that it brings... smoking are often associate with depression... n think i m having it... since i m not a determined person... my life really sucky now... din even have a motive..
think think think... work work work... play play play... stop stop stop....