Wednesday, May 18, 2005

It's bloody cold!!!

hooooo... the weather is so so so cold... i have never experience this coldness before... to date, i think this is the coldest day since i came to Sydney... buey tahan ah!! it's winter, then the continuous raining for 4 days makes the temperature dip until a new low... the forecast say it's only 14 degree but i believe it's much lower.. my limbs are all cold.. dunno whether i can continue taking this anymore!! SUN!!! come out plzzzzzzz....

this morning was really getting pissed off.. by a girl! a girl i once loved.. and i think the most, at least i think so.. we are quite close.. but somehow, the way she talked to me recently.. mm.. i dunno i am giving her that feeling that i am such a jerk or wat? keep getting scold by her.. maybe i gotta be more serious when talking to her.. thatz how i always talk to girls.. y should i change? Fuck! for 2 long years i been trying to get close to her.. thinking of that, i m really.... dunno how to describe!! i think i will use more vulgar language...

Isn't the day b4 i came here, everything seems to be ok? we were happily chatting away, then went for a boat ride.. how good would it be if time just stop there! or this real physical distance is getting to her? but i know, she's been telling me that we are just friends.. we can only be friends.. so what the fuck is happening now? i just don't wish to think about it anymore about her.. but why would she affected my mood so much.. i m being too sensitive? thatz wat she said.. i don't care.. and i don't bliv.. should i call her? or should i not?

by the way, i m really trying to stop flirting around.. even using my mouth.. stop all the sweet talking.. thatz the problem that has always been with me.. not giving any sense of security to the girls.. and now i want to give it to that one and only one.. i don want anymore failure of courtship!! though it's a very big distance.. if i m bill gates!!

this is a really messy entry.. dunno anyone would understand about this or not... arhhhh.... oh, yeah! i saw rainbowsss today!! 2!! side by side.. one is so clear that i can roughly see 10 layers or more!! really love it.. too bad i cant capture it.. it is so soothing.. smooth out everything.. calm me down a lot.. y ppl grew up, yet losing sense of righteousness, smile with evil minds, grew only with selfishness.. is this the real world? i m more satisfied with the cyber, the virtual reality.. aih~~


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